Interlude: Soap Opera Christmas
All the bickering and backstabbing was put on pause as the glamorous people gathered around the tree with their rich families.
It’s a strange thing to have a mix of highs and lows at Christmas. It’s a time of paradoxes: of joy and pain, peace and stress, comfort and scarcity, family and loneliness. As wonderful as it is to celebrate the birth of our Savior, the hard stuff doesn't just go away with a few Christmas songs and gifts. Sometimes I dream about Christmas in Genoa City.
Yes, I’m talking about The Young & The Restless, aka Y&R, the soap opera my mom has watched for 50 years. Mom’s guilty pleasure. The daytime drama with the scandalous lives of Paul and Lauren, model-turned-lawyer Christine Blair, rock star Danny Romalotti, the matriarch Katherine Chancellor, playboy Brad Carlton, and of course, the passionate Nikki and Victor.
I watched “the program” with my mom during the summers, winter vacations and on the days I was sick, home from school. I loved watching the Christmas episodes (the 4th of July episodes were also a favorite). All the bickering and backstabbing was put on pause as the glamorous people gathered around the tree with their rich families. They wore glittery sweaters and Santa hats and opened gifts, as if no affairs, kidnappings or hostile takeovers by Newman Enterprises ever happened that year. Inevitably there was a couple madly in love. I was fascinated by the picture perfect lives of the characters, their wealth and even the closeup camera shots of the tree lights. It was all so romantic and other-worldly. There was something so mesmerizing about watching a show that was so far from my own reality, even though my reality was pretty good.
So what I’m saying is that it would be really nice to have a soap opera Christmas, where all the hard stuff and drama is put on pause until at least January 2nd. But, alas, my holidays for the past few years have really hard and good.
Last Christmas was so painful. It was the first Christmas separated from Josh and I was a mess. I forced myself to decorate, but it was hard seeing some of the ornaments like “First Christmas 2001” and our matching stockings. I gave away a lot of decorations and kept the ones that were bearable and the kids liked. Also, the roof was leaking, I was disappointed with the co-parenting situation and I had several panic attacks the week of Christmas. Thank goodness for the small miracles and blessings that helped me get through the season: Phone calls with friends and family, shopping for new ornaments with a friend, thoughtful gifts dropped off, a generous neighbor who secured a tarp over the roof, Christmas Eve with friends-like-family and my kids doing the grocery shopping.
This holiday season is noticeably better than last year. I actually found joy in decorating, baking, singing Christmas songs and going to holiday parties. I even ran errands this week without having a panic attack. At the same time, I feel the sadness and grief of not having my sweetheart by my side like so many Christmases before. And again I am also surrounded by love and blessings.
The Christmas story is full of both hardship and peace. People in that country were stressed out about the census, taxes and Roman soldiers. Mary, at 9 months pregnant, had to ride a donkey on the trip to Bethlehem. Joseph and Mary had the hard stuff and at the same time some good. They found a place to stay. Jesus was born. A new star appeared.
If you’re having a hard time this Christmas, it’s okay. I’m not even going to tell you that all you have to do is look for the light, because that’s just annoying. However, I hope you do have some good, too. Even if it’s not a Genoa City Christmas.
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all of you!
Love, Rachel
Blessed are we who ask You for permission during this holiday time
to do things the same as always, or completely differently,
to wade through raw emotion, or ride on the surface of it all.
give us wisdom and guidance that transcends the strangeness,
making little plans possible.
From a blessing for the first holidays without your person by Kate Bowler
Bonus content: A non-soap opera bit of Christmas: My journal entry from December 13, 1979. (Age 8)
I had a Christmas play at school we had a neat play and saw people do their things too. I was Lady C and it was fun. Angi was the newspaper reporter and Sean was Man H and Reggie was Man R. And then there was ISTMAS. My mother came and watched me. I thought the hula dancers were funny. And the cools. And the singing and the Mexican singing and the Snoopy play. And mostly our play. It was called A New Angle on Christmas. We had treats after.
