We started off the new year as busy as ever. The kids took classes at a local homeschool community, Aster was in Girl Scouts, and we started going to a new ward. Josh was working full time while taking classes for his graduate degree, and I was serving in the Girls Camp Directorship.
Rachel, thank you for being so vulnerable. I feel like I could have wrote some of this myself. After our family stopped attending, and I had figured out my panic attacks - I started worrying about us being together in the next life. The one thought I would have after questioning would be 'My God would not make his children "qualify" in order to stay together as a family unit'. Rachel, you are a wonderful mother and that is what is important. Aster and Gabe are lucky to have you on their side!
I have only one child out of six that still go to church. I have one gay child. That doesn’t talk to me because of the church. My testimony is very shaken. I tried to give my kids a better life than I had by joining the church at 19. But in all honesty it’s been hell. My kids were never apart of “the ward family” there is just so much more. I don't see my family being together In the celestial kingdom. And frankly, I’m tired of caring and trying. I have failed my family when it comes to the church.
i truly go by the “ let go and let God”. The more I tried to control a situation the worse it got. I don’t always get the ending I want but sure to know that there is a reason for everything we go through. We may not understand the why but someday I will all come to understand
And I wanted to say that as a member of the church I feel like I go through waves of understanding about this. Once I think I'm settled for a bit it turns out there is more for me to learn and I'm positive I'm not at the end of it. But in the end I hang on knowing that I know God loves me and every member of my family. Jeremiah 31:16-17
I want to say “I’m a Mormon and I used to worry, not anymore”
I remember when my parents almost got divorced, my father sobbing because he didn’t know what that meant for his family in the next life.