Rachel, thank you for being so vulnerable. I feel like I could have wrote some of this myself. After our family stopped attending, and I had figured out my panic attacks - I started worrying about us being together in the next life. The one thought I would have after questioning would be 'My God would not make his children "qualify" in order to stay together as a family unit'. Rachel, you are a wonderful mother and that is what is important. Aster and Gabe are lucky to have you on their side!
I have only one child out of six that still go to church. I have one gay child. That doesn’t talk to me because of the church. My testimony is very shaken. I tried to give my kids a better life than I had by joining the church at 19. But in all honesty it’s been hell. My kids were never apart of “the ward family” there is just so much more. I don't see my family being together In the celestial kingdom. And frankly, I’m tired of caring and trying. I have failed my family when it comes to the church.
Oh, Kerri. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been there.
This may be harsh, but the church failed you. Because it made you believe that the only way your family will be together forever is if everyone checks all the right boxes. That is not right. That is not God.
I sure love you and I'm here if you'd like to talk sometime. After your vacation, of course! =)
i truly go by the “ let go and let God”. The more I tried to control a situation the worse it got. I don’t always get the ending I want but sure to know that there is a reason for everything we go through. We may not understand the why but someday I will all come to understand
And I wanted to say that as a member of the church I feel like I go through waves of understanding about this. Once I think I'm settled for a bit it turns out there is more for me to learn and I'm positive I'm not at the end of it. But in the end I hang on knowing that I know God loves me and every member of my family. Jeremiah 31:16-17
In my marriage, keeping my husband worthy of the celestial kingdom was one of my duties. If I didn't satisfy him or do the things he wanted, he would be 'tested beyond what he could bear.' he would do something that destroyed his worthiness and it would be my fault that our eternal family was destroyed. He was really sorry about it, but I had promised to be his help-meet and he had a lot of needs. At the end when I desperately wanted divorce, I was lectured that I was giving in to Satan. God would never want an eternal marriage ended as long as the partners were willing to work on it. I was the one not willing to work on it. There was a lot of guilt, but luckily I felt a strong spiritual confirmation that God supported me getting out of the marriage.
Thank you for what you are sharing. Your honesty is inspiring and you definitely are not alone in what you are experiencing and have gone through.
Rachel, thank you for being so vulnerable. I feel like I could have wrote some of this myself. After our family stopped attending, and I had figured out my panic attacks - I started worrying about us being together in the next life. The one thought I would have after questioning would be 'My God would not make his children "qualify" in order to stay together as a family unit'. Rachel, you are a wonderful mother and that is what is important. Aster and Gabe are lucky to have you on their side!
I have only one child out of six that still go to church. I have one gay child. That doesn’t talk to me because of the church. My testimony is very shaken. I tried to give my kids a better life than I had by joining the church at 19. But in all honesty it’s been hell. My kids were never apart of “the ward family” there is just so much more. I don't see my family being together In the celestial kingdom. And frankly, I’m tired of caring and trying. I have failed my family when it comes to the church.
Oh, Kerri. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been there.
This may be harsh, but the church failed you. Because it made you believe that the only way your family will be together forever is if everyone checks all the right boxes. That is not right. That is not God.
I sure love you and I'm here if you'd like to talk sometime. After your vacation, of course! =)
i truly go by the “ let go and let God”. The more I tried to control a situation the worse it got. I don’t always get the ending I want but sure to know that there is a reason for everything we go through. We may not understand the why but someday I will all come to understand
And I wanted to say that as a member of the church I feel like I go through waves of understanding about this. Once I think I'm settled for a bit it turns out there is more for me to learn and I'm positive I'm not at the end of it. But in the end I hang on knowing that I know God loves me and every member of my family. Jeremiah 31:16-17
I understand that. Thanks for sharing that scripture. It's beautiful.
I want to say “I’m a Mormon and I used to worry, not anymore”
Yes, that would have been a good option. It only allowed five options. =(
I'm so glad you don't worry anymore. I would love to talk to you sometime about how you got to that point.
I remember when my parents almost got divorced, my father sobbing because he didn’t know what that meant for his family in the next life.
Oh, that's so hard. I understand the worry about the next life. Thanks for your comment!
In my marriage, keeping my husband worthy of the celestial kingdom was one of my duties. If I didn't satisfy him or do the things he wanted, he would be 'tested beyond what he could bear.' he would do something that destroyed his worthiness and it would be my fault that our eternal family was destroyed. He was really sorry about it, but I had promised to be his help-meet and he had a lot of needs. At the end when I desperately wanted divorce, I was lectured that I was giving in to Satan. God would never want an eternal marriage ended as long as the partners were willing to work on it. I was the one not willing to work on it. There was a lot of guilt, but luckily I felt a strong spiritual confirmation that God supported me getting out of the marriage.
Thank you for what you are sharing. Your honesty is inspiring and you definitely are not alone in what you are experiencing and have gone through.